Tales from the Woo Hoo Tavern

[Sarkon]

<<ooc: Contest! Post your best tavern tale here, in the context of you and any of the other players in the game sitting around a table at the Woo Hoo Tavern telling tall tales and stories of adventure. The contest will run until Wed. April 9 at 8pm EST. Best tale will receive 500k gold as a reward. Post in response to this post.>>

[Mathilde]

Mathilde raised the mug of ale to her lips and took a big swig. She despised the stuff, hated both the taste and what it did to you, but she did her best not to let any of that emotion show as she set the glass back upon the bar. As a new recruit and as a woman, she felt like she had something to prove to her guildmates who had convinced her to come along for a drink. Surely they'd expected her to wince or cough or see the room spinning after just one drink. She wouldn't give them that satisfaction.

The other fighters, many of them new to the guild as well, were heartily draining their own mugs and sharing tales of glory. A berserker recounted a recent encounter with an Ogre in the Fort, and a young ranger told of his first Troll slaying, a shot straight to the heart before the monster even saw him. Mathilde remained quiet at first, simply nodding her approval and smiling along during the good parts of the stories. She constantly had to remind herself to sit up straight and not hunch over, an old habit that was proving difficult to get rid of.

"An' whaddabout ye?" One of them finally addressed her, a half orc with a crooked nose. "Whas yer story dere?"

All eyes turned to face Mathilde. She looked back at each of them, one by one, before taking another sip of ale and beginning.

"I grew up in a small village just outside of Cottley Mounds. Who my parents are, I do not know. I suppose I must have been unwanted, for I was found abandoned, and was taken in by some kindly halfling farmers.

"Our village was beautiful. There were only a few of us living there, fewer than two dozen, but we wanted for nothing. The fields were fertile and the harvest was rich. The only problem was the dragons. Only small ones, mostly, but they were a constant threat. We had constantly to keep watch over our sheep and goats or they would disappear.

"I was never suited to following the traditional women's life in the village. Rather than staying home and cooking I would always follow my father and uncle out to the fields, to help with the farm work. I never felt that I fit in with the women... I was too... big."

A few snickers reached her ears from the surrounding company which included half-giants and half-ogres. Mathilde may be slightly above average height for a human, but she was by no means big. She felt her cheeks burn as she started to blush and fought against the emotion, taking another drink before continuing.

"In fact, by the age of twelve I was already the tallest in the village. And before much longer I was the strongest as well. I felt that I was much more help in the fields.

"But my father and uncle would always send me away when the dragons came near. Perhaps they were right too, I was too young and inexperienced, but still I felt angry and embarrassed that I was not able to help, that I was not strong enough, not good enough. I began training a little in secret, waiting for the day when I could come to the rescue."

Mathilde let out a small sigh and drained the rest of her ale, wincing a bit this time.

"That day came, but it was not how I expected it to be. We were out of the fields, my father, my uncle and I. Suddenly a dragon appeared... then another, and another. My father and uncle waved around their daggers and threw rocks at first, but quickly realized that they had no chance at saving the animals. They tried to run but..."

She let the sentence trail off, trying to hold her composure. Everyone knew what she meant.

"I saw it happen from behind some fields of wheat, not far away. When my father went down my judgment was clouded with rage. I ran forward, grabbed his dagger from the ground, and swung it at the nearest dragon with all my might. I may have knocked off a scale or two, but it was no use. The beast batted me aside and I collapsed, losing consciousness.

"I suppose I was left for dead, for I awoke, bruised and bloodied but otherwise fine. It was dark, but there was light coming from the direction of my village. I staggered there as quick as my injuries would allow me, but all was lost... all was destroyed."

Mathilde gestured for the bartender to bring another drink. "I was seventeen then. The only survivor of that dragon attack. I stayed for a short time in Cottley, letting my wounds heal and earning a small bit of gold working at an inn. But after that day I knew a simple life was not for me. I wanted to be prepared for the next time. I wanted to know that my loved ones... if I ever have any again... will be safe."

[ava]

“Hmm, maybe you and Halren and everyone are right, Mopard, and I should stop curiousing about that castle.”

Mopard exhaled a big sigh of relief. It had been a long, long conversation during which Ava had refused to listen to reason, but finally she seemed to be coming around.

“After all it is true that the scary vampire things there didn’t come to bother us in Moorgate except when Althelus and I went curiousing around there, so maybe it was a little bit our fault that something bad happened really, and if we just leave it alone it will be fine.”

The Mages’ Guild bartender allowed a small smile to finally break across his lips.

“Oh oh oh! But what if I go curiousing there and I find something out, um, something really very a lot important! Like if the Creatures’ Guild is coming again! Or where Guildmaster Lothaine went this time! Or or or… oh, I think I’m going to go curiousing there one more time, just in case!”

“I need a drink,” said Mopard, storming out of his own tavern.

Ava blinked and looked around the empty room. With no one left to listen to her wonderings about curiousing, let along to pour her glasses of milk, she would have to find a new way to occupy her time. She stopped by the Shrine and the Marketplace, but no friends were to be found. But on her way around Moorgate she heard some voices coming from the Woo Hoo, and stopped inside to find a group of adventurers telling stories. A wide small on her face, she didn’t pay any mind to the unfamiliar surroundings and instead sidled up to the bar.

“One glass of milk please! Oh, um! Make that two!”

The bartender regarded the catline dubiously, but nonetheless shuffled into his back room, returning with two glasses of milk. How long they had been there was anyone’s guess.

Ava drained the glasses. “Ahh!” she said. “That’s pretty good milk!”

* * *

After awhile it came time for Ava to tell a story.

“A story?” she said, to no one in particular. “Um… about what?”

“We all know you have plenty of adventures, with all of your curious…ing, Ava,” a monk replied. “You must have a story or two.”

Ava’s nose scrunched up in concentration as she tried to think of a good story to tell.

“Oh oh oh! One time I went into a very a lot big cave and found the Cyclops!” she began loudly.

“And…?” asked the monk.

“And I sworded him!”

A couple of polite chuckles. “And that’s all?”

“Well of course that’s all, because after I sworded him he wasn’t alive anymore and so then I didn’t have to sword him anymore and then I went back to Moorgate.”

More chuckles. “Any other stories?”

Ava gave it some more thought. “Um, once I went to visit the Troll Queen with Herman!”

“Let me guess… you sworded her?”

“Nooo! I didn’t even sword her at all before she knocked me and Herman to the Plane of Rebirth! But it wasn’t my fault because we didn’t go there to sword her, we just were curiousing around a little bit. I mean, we weren’t curiousing around at all, but I was still curiousing around a little.”

The monk regarded her quizzically. “What could you possibly mean by that.”

Ava let out a big sigh, seemingly annoyed at having to spell out the obvious.

“Well! It was a special day because Herman was a little bit mad at me even though he said that he didn’t get mad at me but only disappointed because I don’t careful enough when I am curiousing and then I get into lots of trouble, but it’s not my fault, I’m curiousing! Anyway, we decided to have a special day and we went to the Troll Caves together and instead of curiousing we were carefulling. Because that’s what Herman does all the time, he carefuls.

“Um, so we did that for a little while, but I started to get a little bit bored of carefulling, and then I saw a passageway going in a direction that I had never noticed before.

“So I said, ‘Oh, let’s go that way!’ but then Herman starting umming and hmming and I had to wait for him because it isn’t very nice to leave your friends behind when you go curiousing and I wasn’t even supposed to be curiousing so I waited. And he said, ‘I think we should nae go there Ava’ and I said ‘Why not?’ and he said ‘Because that be where the Troll Queen lives’ and I said ‘Ooh! I’ve never seen her, can we go Herman, please, can we go?!’ and he said ‘Nae, Ava, we are carefulling tae day, nae curiousing’ and I said ‘But but but I never saw her ever before and I just want to have a teeny tiny look and then we can go back to carefulling!’

“And finally Herman said we could go and I was really happy, and he lead the way and we were really really quiet and then we were right next door to where the Troll Queen’s throne room is and Herman said, ‘That be her’ but he said it really quietly and I didn’t heard him well so I said ‘What?’ and he said ‘That be her’ but he said it a little louder but I didn’t really see her so I said ‘Where?’ and he said ‘Over there, to the east’ and he pointed, but I still couldn’t really see her to I quickly ran to where he was pointing so I could get a good look at her, and the last thing I heard was ‘Nae, Ava, nae!!’ and then I saw the Troll Queen and then I said ‘Oh dear!’ because I wasn’t alive anymore before I could even start to sword her. And then I was on the Plane of Rebirth and then Herman was too.”

Ava turned to the bartender. “Um, can I have some more milk please!”

[Sarkon]

So, we've only had two entries, and they're BOTH fantastic. So, both will receive the 500k reward. See me in the lands for your prize, and well done, both of you!

(Note, I'm out of town until Monday, but I'll get it to you!)

[Mathilde]

Thank you, Sarkon. I will seek you out in the lands soon.